Baby tips

I wrote this for my friend when she was about to give birth, and little a was just a couple of months old. Frankly, I can't remember much about it now, but I'm sharing it here, partly from nostalgia (Woolies! don't you miss them?) and partly because if you're about to embark on the great adventure of parenthood there might be something helpful buried here.

(Spot the career girl who suddenly had too much brain-space on her hands ...)

BABY TIPS THAT MIGHT BE USEFUL

Last month or so of pregnancy

I loved my inflatable ball – found one for £11 on the net, a Gymnastikball – it’s worth shopping around as they vary a lot in price. Sat on it, leant on it, practiced squatting on it. Planned to give birth on it, and they had one in the hospital which was great. Didn’t work out for me, but might for you!

Having massage was lovely and I definitely recommend it.

Wish I’d had my hair cut because I haven’t had time since … Also wish I’d had a pedicure because when I finally got to see my feet again they were horrible, and because I was lying down they were the first thing anyone saw when they came to visit.

S and I went away for a night at Babington House as a final fling treat and it was really really lovely. Thoroughly recommend something similar – Bab Hse is a bit ridiculously priced.

I drank raspberry leaf tea which is meant to help strengthen the uterus, and did perineal massage which is meant to help prevent tearing – both of these are only advised in the last few weeks though (think it’s six but check). Also squatted a lot and crawled, which is meant to help the baby get into right position.

Get lots of rest and take it easy on yourself!

Birth Stuff

Most important thing I think is to have a completely open mind. You just don’t know what’s going to happen, but at the end of it you’ll have your baby and nothing else matters. But it is good to think about the way you’d like it to be, ideally, and try to fight for it. Wish I’d tried more to get them to let me move around more and squat, so that’s my tip … And as far as support goes, S talking to me was the most important thing – visualisation, visualisation and imagining you’re somewhere far away!

The books will tell you the real essentials that you need. This is what I had that helped:

A lavender-filled stress-ball that my friend’s mum had made and was my best friend. I don’t think I let go of it from the moment my waters broke. So, something to squeeze, and ideally something that smells nice too.

Tens machine gave me something to do and maybe helped a bit with the pain.

Homeopathic remedy kit gave S something to do. Wasn’t a patch on the epidural when it came down to it, but everyone’s different!

Mini massage roller that S could use on my feet etc. Great distraction and felt really nice.

Water spray and lavender ointment. Again, good distractions and something nice to do.

Huge bottle of water – hospital so hot, you so thirsty, staff so busy they have no time to bring you as much as you might like.

Disposable knickers – best piece of advice I had. Mothercare sell them. They’re soft, big, and you don’t mind about bleeding on them.

Maternity pads – lots of them … I used the disposable ones at first but then recommend the washable ones from Green Baby as you could be using them for up to six weeks and they’re much more comfortable and less rustly … You probably need two kits.

A really nice nighty or similar that has good access for feeding. Remember you’ll have your photo taken in this and although you won’t care what you look like at the time, those pictures are going to be out there for a long time. I look completely hideous in all of mine. Nighty better than pyjamas I think because you may not want anything around your waist (not that you’ll have a waist …) and you may be delicate down below.

The books advise two maternity bras. I recommend the sleep bras that Mothercare sell in a pack of two. They’re really soft and comfortable, cut more like a sports bra, and they’re more general on the sizing. I’ve spent too much on bras and you won’t know what size you need until after the baby’s born, so I’d wait to buy a proper bra until later (John Lewis best for this, they measure you and give good advice and have good range)

Flip flops rather than slippers so you can wear them in the shower if it doesn’t look too clean!

Calendula ointment or nipple cream – you’ll want to be using this from the outset. Remember to wipe it off before you feed though.

Nice food and healthy snacks (but you can get people to bring you this in) – hospital food so grim …

Breast Feeding

See note above about bras and nipple cream.

Comfy chair with supportive back and arms essential. Also V-shaped cushion and support cushion for the baby. So so important to sit comfortably. Advice from my Alexander Technique teacher is to try not to curl round your baby (v tempting to do this), keep shoulders dropped and when you look down, bend from your neck rather than your upper back. Don’t hunch, basically … At the beginning, even though it’s not what you feel like, try and always feed in a proper chair or you’ll do your back in.

I had a little bag I carried round with me that had calendula ointment, stress ball (you might need to squeeze it to get through the pain I’m afraid), foot massage roller (nice to do while you’re feeding), tissues in it. And remember to get a big glass of water before you start. Lost count of the times I’ve sat down, latched on and then said ‘S …’ because I’ve forgotten.

Breast feeding is boring. S gets bored too and always buggers off and leaves us. I had a weird aversion to TV so I had a stack of baby books, magazines and the radio to hand. Breastfeeding to woman’s hour: now at last I knew the true meaning of woman-hood!!!

Green Baby sell washable breast pads which are more comfortable than the disposables (and nicer than the ones Mothercare do), although I keep some disposables handy for emergencies when out and about or when I’m behind on the washing.

I carry a shawl or scarf with me for discreet feeding when I’m out and about.

Haven’t bought any special tops or clothes as I find not a problem to just lift up t-shirt. Cardigans that button or zip from bottom as well as top are good. Dresses are out though. Wrap dresses are okay but you do have to get your whole boob out so they can be a bit exposing …

John Lewis is definitely destination of choice when you’re out – they have special feeding rooms (for bottles too, with all the equipment) and good changing facilities. But I haven’t had any problems feeding pretty much anywhere: station platforms, on the train, sheltering from the rain under a tree … – most people don’t even notice what you’re doing.

Expressing – not something to worry about early on, although I should probably have done it earlier and gone out a bit more!
I’m using a hand pump, but have a friend who swears by electric if you’re going to be doing it a lot. They’re more expensive, but you can hire them from the NCT.
I haven’t bought a special steriliser, just boiling stuff for ten mins and going to try the tablets. My mum says she used to just keep a bowl of stuff in steriliser and take out what she needed. But if I was bottle feeding I definitely think electric one would be the way to go.

Nappies

The whole issue of nappies made my head ache when I started to look into it, because I was determined to use washable ones and there’s just too much advice out there.

Be easy on yourself in the beginning and accept that for a start washable nappies are pretty huge for a newborn and you’re going to have enough on your plate, so leave it for a couple of weeks before you even try.

Nature Boy Girl do disposable nappies which are 70% biodegradable and I really like them. I use those for out and about, and that’s what we bought before Little a was born. Green Baby sell some even more environmentally friendly but I haven’t tried them. Trouble with Nature nappies is they’re hard to find – in theory, Waitrose, Sainsbury and some large Boots have them, but they never seem to have the size you need. Good excuse to do an Ocado order, I’ve found …

I’ve also been using Terries. I like them. There’s something satisfying about wrapping your baby up in something you’ve folded yourself, and because you fold them you can be flexible about the size. I’d need to show you the folds though. I have some standard size ones that I inherited from my mother, and also bought some small ones which are easier to use at the beginning because you don’t need to fold them so much. At the beginning I used nappy pins, which isn’t as scary as you think, but then I discovered Nappi Nippas which are fantastic. Once you have pins or Nippas you can pretty much make a nappy out of any piece of material which is good to know …

I then moved on to Bambino Mio, which worked really well for me right through until Little a outgrew their largest size. Apparently not so good for boys, but they’re simple to use and not too bulky to carry spares around.

The down side with washables is that compared with the disposables, which have gel (that’s the bit that’s bad for the environment) which absorbs all the moisture, they get very wet. So you need to remember to change them more often.

Whichever system you use, you’ll need waterproof pants. I’ve found the ones that do up with Velcro are the best as more flexible with the fit.

Definitely give them a go, I say, anyway. Yes, you have to wash them but frankly you’re going to be doing an unbelievable amount of washing anyway, so one more load every other day doesn’t make much difference. Drying them can be a bit of a nightmare though so make sure you buy plenty or have some disposables to fall back on.

Pushchairs

The really big mistake I made was not listening to everyone’s advice and stubbornly spending far too much money on a mamas and papas pushchair that tried to do everything.

Yes, it was really nice to have little a lying flat and facing me, but the thing was heavy and hard to manoeuvre and three months in we’ve bought a Maclaren, as everyone told me we would. The difference is fantastic and I wish we’d done it at the beginning.

If you can hold off on buying the pushchair until after the baby’s born, I’d recommend it – you’re not going to know what you need until then. But most important things are weight (could you lift it, and your baby, and your shopping?) and manoeuverability (can you steer it with one hand, tip it over kerbs and onto buses & trains, balance it illegally on an escalator).

Do get a carrier – they’re fantastic. All of them are really complicated to get into but it’s a great way to get around like an almost normal person. Front carriers are probably better than the sling things I think. Tried little a in my friend’s sling and she hated it.


Shopping List

I’ve done most of my shopping online, with greenbaby.co.uk (nice organic environmentally friendly), thenappylady.co.uk (also will give you advice on real nappies) and jojomamanbebe.co.uk. Also John Lewis and Mothercare, of course.

Number one essential: Millions of muslins!

Clothes
You can’t have enough babygrows and sleepsuits. The more you have, the less washing you’ll have to do. You can get extraordinarily cheap packs of them (just don’t think about the sweat-shops) from JL or mothercare. Both do starter packs with all the essentials in. Recommend that this is all you buy before your baby’s born, because you don’t know how big they’ll be …

Dungarees are better than dresses, which ruck up the whole time.

Socks don’t stay on, so buy them long and go for tights if it’s cold enough and you have a girl!

Bedding
I’ve found I need four cotton cellular blankets (two to use, two to wash) – get them big enough so you can use them for swaddling. Be warned that Mothercare package theirs with card so they look bulkier than they are. But on the other hand I now have two of their smaller ones which are useful for out and about.
And two woollen (but little a was born in the winter so it was much colder)
Also the receiving blankets that Green baby do are lovely and soft, and useful for keeping little a warm when I’m changing her or in the car
Two cotton sheets (one to use, one to wash). And I wrap a muslin round the mattress under her head so you only have to change that if she’s sick or dribbles a lot.
I started using a grobag after about a month and it’s good but I worry her arms get a bit cold. Not a problem in the summer though.
Swaddling is definitely a great thing at the beginning. Midwife will show you how.
I bought mattresses from Green Baby as they do natural fibres, and also from the natural mat company, who will make to measure if you have unusual size cot. Think web address is naturalmat.co.uk
By the way, moses basket will be totally fine for first four months at least so don’t worry that you need to rush into buying a cot if it’s too scary

In the bathroom I have …
Lidded bucket (found a nice enamel one in Labour & Wait but Woolies and others do plastic ones)
Two net bags to put in the bucket (so you don’t have to touch the nappies again)
Tea Tree oil – put drops in the bucket and in the bin, for smells and to disinfect
I’ve also made up a spray bottle of water with a few drops of tea tree oil in, which I use to wipe down the washable pants (you don’t want to wash them too often as it takes the waterproof coating off) and clean the change mat. Just remember to shake it first.
Changing mat
Stack of muslins
Two flannels (one to use, one to wash. I started out using natural sponges, but they seem to smell even after you’ve washed them. Flannels much better)
Baby bath (recently tried one of the bucket ones but prefer the bath, maybe because it’s what we’re used to. Easier to wash hair!)
Bath support sling was v useful at the beginning
[in your Bounty bag you’ll get a load of Johnsons baby stuff, but all midwives seem to agree it is evil evil do not use. Just water on its own is fine at the beginning, with maybe a couple of drops of oil in. Because little a’s hair is so long I’ve now started giving it a little shampoo once a week with nice earth baby stuff I was given but still don’t use anything else and she doesn’t seem to be too stinky]
Two towels (I like the ones with hoods but you don’t really need it)
Washable wipes (cheapest from the nappy lady. Use with water as an alternative to cotton wool or disposable wipes. I keep them in handy pampers box I got free in the bounty pack)
Neal’s Yard nappy barrier cream
Neal’s Yard baby balm (nice to put on any little patches of dry skin etc)
Neal’s Yard baby powder (talc free and good to make sure all the creases are dry)
Olive oil (use as barrier for nappy changes – I take no chances and do barrier cream then oil – for massage, to put on cradle cap or dry skin, couple of drops in bath to stop skin drying. Basically, brilliant!)
Almond oil (I use as alternative to olive oil for massage, it’s meant to be the purest and means she doesn’t smell like cooking. No good if allergies are a possibility though)
Cotton Wool
Nappy bags (nature do biodegradable ones)
I don’t have a changing station and at first wished I did – better for your back. But now little a’s so wriggly I have to change her on the floor anyway, in case she flips off, so I’m not sure it would have been worth the money or the space they take up.

When I go out I take …
Small blanket
Bootees, hat (sun or warm depending)
At least two muslins – one for face, one for bottom.
Change of clothes in case of nappy disaster (for little a, not me …)
If it’s sunny I clip a muslin over the front of the pram as easier to use than parasol, but whatever you find easier – having a couple of pegs is handy for emergency anyway
Portable changing mat
Changing bag
In my travelling changing bag I have:
Four disposable nappies
Mini disinfectant spray that I got in the bounty pack from hospital
Cotton wool
Small water spray bottle (boots sell them)
Nappy bags
Tube of nappy cream (earth friendly baby is a good size)
A Nappi Nippa
Small pack of disposable wipes (Nature do disposable wipes which I’ve found are the gentlest on skin and are biodegradable etc etc.)

Other nice/useful things:
Sheepskin (Green Baby do a machine-washable one, and wool shampoo to wash it with)
Travel cot (I’ve borrowed a pop-up one which was great)
Bouncy chair (I inherited one from mothercare, v useful for putting little a in when I want to get on with cooking etc. This one lies flat which is handy when she falls asleep in it, but Woolies do a good one too)
Plat mat/baby gym (though A doesn’t like to be left in hers for long)
Wooden jangly toys seem to go down really well
You’ll need lots of ways to dry things, if you don’t have a tumbler …


Hope this isn’t too scary or overwhelming – or I haven’t forgotten anything crucial. Really, you need very little: just nappies and clothes and lots of love!

Instinct really kicks in and seems to get you a very long way. Most of all, enjoy it …

xxxxxxx